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The M.A.T.
Questions 031-040
31. Pomo : Soho = Glad : ?
a. Weltschmerz.
b. Ennui.
c. Fin de siècle.
d. dumpster.
WHOMPFF!
32. Nancy Reagan : Alicia de Larocha = Georgette Geyer : ?
a. Joyce Brothers.
b. Phyllis Shlafley.
c. Anita Bryant.
d. Marilyn Quayle.
WHOMPFF!
33. Babe Didricksen Zaharias : Nancy Reagan = Mother Teresa : ?
a. Planck’s Constant.
b. Brownian motion.
c. Gregor Mendel.
d. Dick Cavett.
WHOMPFF!
34. Four wheels are better than no wheels because:
a. I own a lot of Exxon stock.
b. My penis is too small.
c. I think A.J. Foyt hung the moon.
d. All is water.
WHOMPFF!
35. This time next millennium I plan to be:
a. surfing somewhere near Alpha Centauri.
b. taking Italian lessons from Dante.
c. lighting a blowtorch under Ronald Reagan’s cryogenically preserved head.
d. meditating at Borobodur.
WHOMPFF!
36. Muslims are better seen than _____________.
a. eviscerated.
b. decapitated.
c. emasculated.
d. defenestrated.
WHOMPFF!
37. At bedtime, little millennial Johnny makes which of the following statements to his
mother in his upstairs room (thus setting a record for the English sentence ending in the
largest number or prepositions)?
a. "What did you bring that book I don’t to be read to out of on up for?"
b. "For what reason did you bring that book, out of which I don’t like to be
read to, on up?"
c. "Where’s the fucking remote control?"
d. "Want a hit of my ritalen?"
WHOMPFF!
38. ____________________, the smile on the CEO’s face grew like maggots on roadkill.
a. Depositing his monthly paycheck of $2 million,
b. Unzipping his fly the better to pee on the poor,
c. Hiring nothing but contract workers,
d. Dedicating his company’s eighth maquiladora,
WHOMPFF!
39. Charles and David live the same distance from their respective offices. Charles spends
35 minutes driving to work. David spend 50 minutes driving to work. From this, we can
conclude that:
a. Charles and David are homosexual.
b. Charles and David are Republicans.
c. Charles and David are Republican homosexuals.
d. Charles and David wear Brut.
WHOMPFF!
40. In a recent election, 43% of the eligible voters didn't. From this, we can conclude
that:
a. Bill Cosby is rich but not smart.
b. The interstate highway system needs to be expanded twofold.
c. Garry Trudeau and Jane Pauley have highly placed friends at People Magazine.
d. The Road Less Traveled is undermining
the moral, intellectual, and artistic fiber of this country.
WHOMPFF!
Whompff! Questions 041-050
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