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The M.A.T.
Questions 011-020
11. The fact that Jimmy Swaggert,
Jerry Lee Lewis and Mickey Gilley are cousins:
a. Proves that there is a God.
b. Proves that there is not a God.
c. Suggests that had Flannery O'Conner lived longer, she would've wound up doing
concept-creation for MTV.
d. New Orleans notwithstanding, causes one to wonder about the cultural viability of
Louisiana altogether.
WHOMPFF!
12. New York's continuing position as the capital of the world:
a. Illustrates the prescient, if inadequate, wisdom of the ancient Chinese in constructing
the Great Wall.
b. Is proof of the workability of the coming multi-cultural millennium.
c. Demonstrates that the true foundation stones of modern capitalism are faith, love, and
charity.
d. Shows that the Manichean Heresy was an idea way before its time.
WHOMPFF!
13. Trees:
a. Are our best friends.
WHOMPFF!
14. People who talk to trees should be:
a. Ignored.
b. Given lifetime MacArthur grants.
c. Interviewed by Barbara Walters.
d. Listened to.
WHOMPFF!
15. A reasonable person must conclude that P.J. O'Rourke:
a. Sleeps with the light on.
b. 's mother was frightened by a corazon sagrante.
c. prefers Republican head.
d. Is a one-in-five-billion genetic freak: a funny fascist.
WHOMPFF!
16. Crayolas are:
a. Our second best friends.
WHOMPFF!
17. All un-brainwashed esthetes agree that Picasso:
a. Erred with style for all his working life.
b. Didn't err with style for all his working life.
c. Proved that capitalist art is the lie that
repeats the lie.
d. Died too young.
WHOMPFF!
18. Gore Vidal said:
a. America doesn’t have politics; it has elections.
b. Nothing is what it seems, and what nothing seems is false.
c. When American foreign policy makes even less sense than usual (e.g., Granada, Kosovo,
etc.), consider who benefits (e.g., the miltary-industrial complex).
d. All of the above.
WHOMPFF!
19. The Star-spangled Banner:
a. celebrates violence.
b. is unsingable.
c. is based on a drunken British sailors’ drinking song.
d. all of the above.
WHOMPFF!
20. Character is:
a. what American whites could learn a thing or two about from American blacks if American whites would
learn what Christian humility really means.
b. what American whites haven’t had much of lately.
c. that which in its total absence defines American television.
WHOMPFF!
Whompff! Questions 021-030
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