Magellan's
Log 80 (April 2004)
Hot Links 80. Yet more Internet
time-wasters.
Tasteless Jokes 80.
Where Are the Aliens Now That We Really Need Them?
Rean Rhyne on the role of scapegoats in history and the desirability a UFO-landing.
Zen Centerfold 80. Slideshow with music
(1:30).***
3000 C.E. & the Great How-dun-it. Which of our
books are they gonna be reading a thousand years from now?
How 21st Century Are You? Maurice
Fitznuggly's checklist for the cyber-insecure.
Easter Surprise. An infinitely repeating
little slideshow with midi.***
The State of the World. Our
desperate collection of weird photos to help us all figure out what's going on.
The 17th Hole at Sawgrass. Lulu Dilworth
takes golf as metaphor and finds hope for the American electorate.
Neanderthal Writers for Fun and Profit.
Sylvia Sikeston reacts rudely to Pete Dexter's novel, Train.
The Official Magellan's Log Psychic
Global Weather Forecasting Service.
George W. Bush's New Improved Science.
We filch another secret memo from the White House...
Where the Universe Ends! Startling
photographic proof of the place where existence stops.
Magellan's
Log 79 (March 2004)
29 Words for a Time of Severe Psychic
Contagion.***
Magellan's
Log 78 (February 2004)
Smart Mourths 78.
Hot Links 78. Our latest
collection of Internet time-wasters.
An Empty Mind Is Always Cheerful. Short story
by Angelika Jakob, translated by Christiane Galvani.
Patience. A pixel-stitched sampler for a
troubling age.***
Re-starting the Third Millennium: A Petition to Save
the Planet Earth.
The Silent Minority. Phalba Gallatin on
those who know but do not speak.***
Jumbelodeon. Random images plus Bach.
Slideshow with midi (1:32).
The Great Hunger. The latest update from
Chardo Blue Plains, staff mystic.***
GWB's Top Secret 2004 To-do List.
The Magellan's Log Cyber-Delphic Oracle and
Feel-good Machine.
With a Vengeance. Sylvia Sikeston reviews
Eileen Dreyer's latest, excellent mystery.
Bad Boys and Bullies. Doc Cuddy on the fatal flaw
of the Bush gang.
Magellan's
Log 77 (January 2004)
Hot Links 77.
Number Sense. A few revealing statistics
about American governance, 2001-2004.
Transcriptions. A
collection of midi transcriptions of, shall we say, variable quality.
Zen Centerfold 77. Image and music
(1:28).***
Imperial I.D. Card. Our own modest proposal in
the War on Terrorism.
Hate in Progress. Herbert Lehnert's political
observations from a recent trip around the world.
To Flee or Not to Flee. Doc Cuddy on the coming
American exodus.
The Cyber-puritan Manifesto. How to Change the
21st Century in 20 East Steps.
Smart Mouths 77. Great quotes gathered from
around the Internet.
Magellan's
Log 76 (December 2003)
Hot Links 76.
Write Me! Sylvia Sikeston decimates The Da Vinci
Code.
Storm Warning. Itinerant mystic Chardo Blue
Plains's latest weather report.
Solar Reflections. Piongo Pisgah's lines
on the solstice.***
Searching for a House Under $40K in the
Texas Outback. Kai Sonderling looks for cheap studio space. Slideshow with midi
(3:05).
"W.W.D.D." Our latest bumper sticker,
which stands for "What Would Dubya Do?"
The Official Magellan's Log 2005-2009 Survival
Checklist. What to do if he wins a second terms.
Lachrimae (with midi, 2:44). Thomas Cole
plus Thomas Dowland.
La Vida un Sueño. Pedro
Bofecillos on taboos, dreams, frontiers, and the great silence.***
The Heartbreak of Acute Chronological
Displacement Syndrome. Astraeu Chakar gets to the bottom of your discontent.
Magellan's
Log 75 (November 2003)
B.B.T.T. The Magellan's Log slogan
for Campaign 2004.
Really HOT Links 75.
Zen Centerfold 75. More images and music for the
metaphysically horny. Slideshow with midi (1:36).***
Lines Found by Mr. Temple Duciel in the Poste
Restante, Duino, Italy.
98-pound Weaklings, Whoopee Cushions, etc.
Classic ads from the golden age of comic books. Slideshow with midi (2:05).
Not All Texans Are Like George W. Bush.
Izora Firelands discovers a great tree in Columbus, Texas.***
Murray Perahia Performs Bach's Goldberg
Patchwork Variations. Angus Verspeeten.
The R.A.T. (Reincarnation Aptitude Test). R U
Ready for your next life???
The Price of Sin: Movie Posters Like They
Don't Make Anymore.
Re: View. Saramae Anahuac has wrote a pome.
Comfort Me with Epigrams: The World According to
Peter De Vries. Temple Duciel.
Double Indemnity. Douglas Milburn on the
difficulties of being both an American and a Texan.
How's Your W.Q.? Didio Antis has come
up with a test of your "Wisdom Quotient."
Magellan's
Log 74 (October 2003)
Tasteless Jokes 74.
Zen Centerfold 74. Images and music
for the metaphysically horny. Slideshow with midi (3:10).***
Springtime in America! Token Republican Ora Shay's
16th column, and it is, as she might say, a sidewinder.
Hot Links 74.
Smart Mouths 74.
Milburn’s Cat vs. Schrödinger’s Cat.
Wuss vs. Heisenberg et al.
DIY Yin-yang. Nicholas Momurray.
Slideshow withi midi (2:08).
Blinded by the Night. Joey Ancaster. Animated gifs
+ 2.5 minutes of Chopin.***
Interregnum or Neoregnum? Anna-Marie Quave on
American democracy, past, present, and future.
Penises on Parade. The staff passes
on its trove of tasteless "phallic-humor" photos from the Internet. Sigh.
Waiting for the Reichstag Fire. Doc Cuddy
despairs of the present bunch in Washington and looks to the past for help.
Pneumatics 101. Reppy Duart, D.D., unleashes a lot
of hot air. Only thing is, he's serious.
The Mind of George W. Bush. Doc Cuddy on George
W. Bush as a product of deep West Texas.
Astronomical Pornography. Marcel P. Snapfinger
et al. (with midi).
Test Your Faith. Jerden Purmort's quiz to
see how you shape up as a citizen of the world's newest theocracy.
Mind Check. Have your perceputal abilities been
damaged by government propaganda?
Magellan's
Log 73: Special Issue (September 15-30, 2003)
The Helios Cycle. Douglas Milburn.
Magellan's
Log 72 (September 1-15, 1003)
Vietnam / Iraq: Quotations from Another
War, 1961-1995.
Repub Braintrust Memo Intercepted!
Images added to the feature in Magellan's
Log 19 on representations of the unclothed Jesus in art history. WARNING: POSSIBLY
OFFENSIVE.
Bush/Cheney 2004. 10 bumper stickers
and a crossword puzzle (he-he).
C U B E. Summing it all, or at least a lot of it, up
in one image and a midi (4:55).
Tasteless Jokes 72.***
Hot Links 72.
Four Corners. Boris Chao's lovely photos of
part of the American West. Slideshow with midi (2:23).***
Smart Mouths 72.
Zen Centerfold 72. Image with midi
(1:58).***
Dubya Does Dallas. Token Republican Oray Shay's
suggestions for the 2004 campaign.
Test Your Rose-colored Ray-bans. Pedro
Bofecillos. A quiz to check your ability to guess the future realistically.
A Garden of Millennial Visual Delights. 10
photos for your retinal delectation.
Reading-readiness for Grown-ups.
Astraeu Chakra. 10 comic strips to exercise your narrative skills.
Victory in Iraq Day! Jerden Purmort and Douglas
Huang celebrate.
A Richness of Spirit: The New Mexico Novels of
Michael McGarrity. Doc Cuddy.***
Pixels' Delight. Mystic Chardo Blue
Plains's latest enigmatic report from the American Outback.***
Human History in One Easy Lesson. Joey Ancaster
explains it all--or at least most of it--in 10 cartoon panels.
Magellan's
Log 71 (August 2003)
Smart Mouths 71. More thinkable quotations.
Tasteless Jokes 71.
A Shard of Sky. Astraeu Chakar. Poetry. Brief,
but still poetry.***
Buy Me! How Good a Late-Capitalist Consumer R U?
Sawyer Brown's 10-question quiz to test your memory for ad slogans.
The Magellan's Log Delphic Cyber-oracle.
A free public service of this publication.
S L A C K. Ceci Lumley. A word-grid.
Why Dubya Can't Lose. Ora Shay.
Freudian Symbols for the 3rd Millennium.
Harriet Lobdell's radical new take on dream images.
Problems in Modern Transportation.
11 photos.
Monkeewrench. Sylvia Sikeston finds a
new book that's "good enough to put the 'thrill' back in 'thriller'".
Zen Centerfold 71. With midi (2:23).***
Howz Ur D.I.Q? Jerden Purmort's guide to
intelligence in the new American age.
Hot Links 71.
The Regretful Visitor. Chardo Blue Plains
reports again from the empyrean.***
Just 16 Words? Our public service bumper
sticker to help us remember why we invaded Iraq.
Bangkok 8. Sylvia Sikeston reviews John
Burdett's remarkable new novel.
Memento Mori. Douglas Milburn on some of the
backstory behind Magellan's Log.
Magellan's
Log 70: Montages de l'Empire (July 4, 2003)
Montage de l'empire 25 (with
midi).
Masthead. Staff photos added by popular demand.
Smart Mouths 70.
Hot Links 70.
Tasteless Jokes 70.
The Ultimate Gadget. Rean Rhyne. In The Chiliastic Hideon.
Montage de l'empire 25 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 24 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 23 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 22 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 21 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 20 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 19 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 18 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 17 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 16 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 15 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 14 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 13 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 12 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 11 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 10 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 9 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 8 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 7 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 6 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 5 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 4 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 3 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 2 (with midi).
Montage de l'empire 1 (with midi).
Magellan's
Log 69 (July 2003)
Tasteless Jokes 69.
How Long Is It Anyway? Piongo Pisgah's
paradigm-breaking formula for calculating the length of you-know-what before you commit
yourself.
Imperial Verities. Anna-Marie Quave. Rules
for getting on successfully in the new world order.
Serious Visual Denial. Humor editor Jerden Purmort
has collected 30 more funny pictures to help you avoid facing reality.
Beguiling Buffoonery. Jack Xamis, Ph.D.,
identifies the secret of conservative political success.
The Millennium Project. Our modest
proposal for finding a solution to the problem of human violence.
Hot Links 69.
Lines to a Father on His Day. Henry Bob Kulup on
daddies and their violence, both private and public.
Giggling While Rome Burns. Doc Cuddy on the rise
of a sugar-coated, American version of fascism.
To F--- or to Be F---ed, That Is the 21st-Century
Question. Angus Verspeeting on what to buy with $3,000.
Koans for the 21st Century. Twelve, count
'em, twelve.
There's No Substitute for Cubic Decibels. Rean
Rhyne on satellite radio.
Zen Centerfold 69. Slideshow with
midi (2:06).***
Whatever Happened to the New Millennium
Anyway? A handy checklist.
November 2, 2004 and the Dictatorship of Deceit.
Joel Fluker.
Do You Glow in the Dark? Jerden Purmort's helpful
checklist to enable you to determine just how close to the edge you're living.
Magellan's
Log 68 (June 15, 2003)
Special 4th Anniversary Issue
The Best of Magellan's Log! Our 4th
Anniversary issue is dazzling collection of links to the best stuff we've done.
Magellan's
Log 67 (June 2003)
Problems in Modern Living. 25
photos (some nudity). In The
Chiliastic Hideon.
R U Vaginally Challenged? Doc Cuddy compares
horny young Muslims and repressed American politicians.
Mindfulness. Animated digital painting by Kai
Sonderling, plus Handel's Sarabande. Slideshow (3:12)***.
Tasteless Jokes 67.
The Wise and Foolish Virgins One More Time.
Anonymous, on pain.
Smart Mouths 67.
You gotta s-m-i-l-e. Watch us work a little jigsaw
while listening to Dowland's "If My Complaints" (1:28).***
Application for Membership in the American
Empire. Another of our world scoops, freshly smuggled out of the Pentagon.
Mark Twain's War Prayer (1904).
Enter, Wilderness. Ceci Lumley on where the 21st
century is going, like it or not.***
The New Olduvai Theory. Cassandra's introduction
and link to an overlooked keynote speech at a recent geololists' meeting.
Fenestration. Photo with midi (2:44).
Zen Centerfold 67. Another image for the
metaphysically prurient. With midi (4:41).***
Lamentations. Seven recent paintings by
Jean-Marie Putnam Jonré. With midi's from Handel's Aylesford Pieces.
Test Your Imperial Subjectship. Jerden
Purmort. Are you going to be a good member of the New World Order?
La vida un sueño. Back to the basics.
Slideshow with midi.***
Hot Links 67. Our latest collection.
Demonocracy. Jack Xamis, Ph.D. A new word for
the disease eating at the heart of America.
The Pooh Profits. Douglas Milburn. A memento
mori for the 21st century.
2028 and All That. A calendar celebrating the
25th anniversary of the American Empire.
Beautiful Dreamer. 189 random images.
Slideshow with midi (3:21).***
Days of Denial: Some Call It Reason. Doc
Cuddy offers a calendar of daily reminders to help Americans deal with the New Patriotism.
Magellan's
Log 66 (May 2003)
[Addendum to Magellan's Log 4: Nanjing
University 2003. An update of a Library of Congress panoramic photo from 1920.]
Tasteless Jokes 66.
10.5. Douglas Milburn. Opening lines of
unwritten books.
Brainteasers 66.
The Tennessee Waltz. Illustration &
midi (2:33).
Pack Up Your Troubles. Kai Sonderling. Slideshow
with midi (1:57).
Cheerer-uppers. Ceci Lumley has a couple of
dozen suggestions...
What Next? Our visual (and aural) aid for
deciding which direction expansion of the empire should take now.
Humpty Dumpty à la
mode humaine. Astraeu Chakra on the loss of art--and so much more--in
Baghdad, and in Washington.
Zen Centerfold 66. Slideshow with midi
(2:59).***
Dotty Bach. A smidgen of Bach, a smattering of dots. Slideshow with midi (8:51).***
Classic Broadway Midi's. A choice, if
limited, selection of golden oldies.
Texas Karma. Doc Cuddy. A couple of visual
aids to clarify where things stand metaphysically in the old Lone Star State.
Smart Mouths 66. Another collection of
utterances by the woeful and the wise.
Minds Like Ours. Sylvia Sikeston on trees
and people.
Chaos & Old Night: Babel On. Joey Ancaster. The
state of civilization. Slideshow with midi (2:24).
Country Bumpkins. Nicholas Momurray
obfuscates brilliantly.
P.T.B.D. The Post-Traumatic Bush Disorder, our
proposed modest addendum to the DSM catalog of mental problems.
Hot Links 66. Maybe our best collection of
links yet.
We Live in a Library. Cheki Boggus sums
everything up in 50 words or less.
Ora Shay's Sure-fire Headache Remedy. Our token
Republican's 13th column is devoted to a defense of her all-time favorite president.
R O O M S. Ten surrealist cortical massages by
Piongo Pisgah.
Pseudo-Texans and Other Fake Cowboys I Have
Known. Doc Cuddy.
Magellan's
Log 65 (April 2003)
War Clouds. Chardo Blue Plains. [In The Chiliastic Hideon.]
9-11 and In-your-face Hatred, Insanity... and
Hope. Anna-Marie Quave. [In The
Chiliastic Hideon.]
Toilet Training. Six sad and angry lines
from Harriet Lobdell.
Behind the Scenes. Tantalizing visual
clues to how Magellan's Log gets made.
Zen Centerfold 65. Slideshow with
midi (2:26).***
Pagans Attack Our President. Token Republican Ora
Shay's 12th column...
Smart Mouths 65. Yet more good quotes, old
and new.
Propitiation for Beginners. Katherine Ozanic
summarizes ancient guidelines for getting help from the gods.
Tasteless Jokes 65.
Is It Dictatorship Yet? Doc Cuddy's handy
little checklist.
Hot Links 65. Our latest collection of
edifying sites.
Tainted Words and the Problem of Religion.
Pedro Bofecillos.
Happy Ears 65. Our biggest (33
pieces), most entertainingly varied collection of midi files yet.***
KAF! KAF! Let Us Prey. Doc Cuddy looks for--and
finds--some hope in this belligerent world.
The World's Fastest Bach. A 2-part invention
adjusted for the fast-paced 21st century. Midi (0:32).***
Sex Trivia. How low will we sink to increase
readership?
Milburn's Razor. An addendum to Occam's
Razor, for the new millennium.***
Arklets. Joey Ancaster. Gently ambiguous images
set to Vivaldi. Slideshow with midi (3:57).
Hearing Is Believing. Sawyer Brown on
Alexander Sokurov's The Russian Ark.
The U.S. of E. An uplifting secret memo from the
desk of Donald Rumsfeld.
Magellan's
Log 64 (March 2003)
A Song of War. The Iraqi war song, with
inspired lyrics by John Robbins.
You Are What You Believe. Maurice
Fitznuggly's self-help test re systems of belief.
Brainteasers 64.
Photon's Lament. Harriet Lobdell sums a lot of
it up in six lines.***
The Water of the River. Chinese folk melody.
Plasma animation with midi (2:38).
"Who ate la plume de ma tante?"
Jason Twinhaft on American linguistic provincialism and what to do about it.
Canon Fodder. Poetry by Izora Firelands.
c u b e z. Beethoven and lots of pictures.
Slideshow with midi (6:43).***
Bach Mod. Tweaked Bach plus tweaked paintings.
Slideshow with midi (4:16).***
Tasteless Jokes 64.
Are You a Genuine Old-fashioned Cloth-coat
Republican? Jerden Purmort.
Hot Links 64. More sites for sore I's.
readme.txt. Two lists of books: the standard
European canon, and our suggested additions.
The Importance of Being Professional.
Katherine Ozanic. Another of our free self-help tests to improve your 21st century life..
Rude Republicans? Oh my! Rightist rep Ora Shay
defends her (and out) leaders, again.
T.B.+P.K.=2004! Our proposal for the ideal running
mates in the 2004 presidential election.
51-L Threnody: In Memorium. Douglas Milburn, on
Challenger, and now Columbia.
Magellan's
Log 63 (February 2003)
Der Zaubergarten. Photograph
by Joey Ancaster, music by Anna-Marie Quave. With midi (1:38).***
The Flotsam and Jetsam of Crawford, Texas. Doc
Cuddy on myopic leaders, as well as the rest of us.
Nought for All & All for Nought. Chardo Blue
Plains, on his latest wanderings.
Stained Glass & Music in a Time of War.***
Hot Links 63.
Smart Mouths 63. More salty, sage, and
salacious quotations.
Brainteasers 63.
Is Your Nation's Leader an Extra-terrestrial
in Disguise? Maurice Fitznuggly.
D.C. Scrips. Seven prescriptions to cure what
ails our leaders.
DIY Hermits. Anna-Marie Quave on art, what it
means, and what to do about it.
Zen Centerfold 63. More eye candy for the
metaphysically horny. Slideshow with midi(2:39).***
Texas Zen Hymnbook CD released.***
Cars & Crystal Balls: The Critic
Despairs. Pedkop Bumbera on the latest car designs.
Lingams & Yonis. Authentic sex advice
from the Sub-continent.
Eye Chortles. 11 funny pictures that are just a
wee bit tasteless.
The Oilman's Burden. Rudyard Kipling updated for
the new empire.
Sept petits objets de méditation.
Paintings by Jean-Marie Jonré, our most popular artist, with music by Handel (3:17).***
The Official, Scientific Magellan’s
Log Early-days Poll of Attitudes Among
Citizens of the American Empire.
Tasteless Jokes 63.
Up and At 'Em. Manic music (Chopin) and a
restless, 500k animated gif.***
Magellan's
Log 62 (January 2003)
Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer. 7
photos celebrating the Wright Brothers' centenary.
The Bad Midi Jukebox.
More Bumperstickers. The
staff's latest haul of timeless automotive thoughts.
Tears. Photo by Douglas Huang. Music by John
Dowland (4:32).
Out of the Mouths of Babes. Doc Cuddy on Clinton
Boisvert and unacknowledged American fear.
Leadership Then and Now. Washington
Correspondent Joel Fluker puts the current batch of American leaders in historical
perspective.
Ora Shay's Fan Mail. Our Token Republican columnist gets
letters.
Right Words: A Checklist for Conservative Readers.
Jerden Purmort.
S.A.A.F.J: A Tale of Henry Kissinger and My Favorite
Fly Swatter. Ora Shay.
Hot Links 62. Our latest collection of sites
worth a look.
Smart Mouths 62. More interesting quotes.
Tasteless Jokes 62.
Magellan's
Log 61 (December 21, 2003)
Special Issue: The Texas Zen Hymnbook. In
production. Completed: November 30, 2002.***
Miscellany (Added during staff work on
Issue No. 61)
(December 2003)
The War of Art. Pedro
Bofecillos on the art of the war novel, and why you might want to read Gabe Hudson's Dear
Mr. President.
America the Disjunctive: Musings on Alienated
Children, by Jason Twinhaft. In The
Chiliastic Hideon.
Galveston Sconces. Jason Twinhaft on islands
trapped in the past (with midi).***
2002 American Election Results. Our
one-sentence analysis pretty well wraps it up.
