Ask the Medium

Skiatatuk Speaks
Communiqué No. 10,449

Query
Oh Skiatatuk, please speak to me. Why does this happen, S., that we get put in these hopelessly tangled family situations? Huh? I mean, WHAT'S THE POINT, big guy?

Take me for example. I'm what they'd call a well-off women just reaching her prime. I live in Palo Alto, have my own little company that just went IPO for something well into 8 (e-i-g-h-t) figures), have not one but two BMW's, and just bought a Ford Excursion, the biggest bitching SUV on the planet. But. Always a "but", huh? I guess that's what keeps guys like you in business. It seems like I spend half my time dealing with f***ing family issues, you know what I mean?

I got one sibling. He's seven years younger than me. Me, the first-born, and Proud Papa raised me on our Montana ranch like I was a f***ing boy. Spent all his time with me, teaching me boy stuff. And it took. Now, all my f***ing nerd wienie employees know better than to f*** with me. But I'm not the problem, S.

Seven years into my life, along comes little bro. And guess what, Unproud Papa mostly ignores him (Mama raised him pretty much alone) except whenever he'd step outside what Papa considered correct boy behavior. Which was to be seen and never heard and do whatever Papa told him to do RIGHT NOW. L'il Bro, a bright, curious kid, got more whippings than I want to talk about. I don't mean little love pats on the heinie. I meaning whippings with a two-inch leather belt folded double, and on a bare bottom.

Two probs, S. 1) I never tried to stop Papa, never sided with L'il Bro. 2) L'il Bro turned out as queer as they come. Can you imagine the guilt I feel??? Any words of wisdom'll be much appreciated.
Contrite in California

Response
What the fuck. I'm gonna direct you to amazon.com, Connie. (Don't worry. I don't get a kickback. Believe me, kickbacks are the farthest thing from my mind here.) I wanchu to go to amazon right now and order and old book called Flatland. It's short. I'm sure you can read it during pauses between chewing out your nerd serf workers. (Such language, Connie. Your father really did a number on you.)

Though Flatland is a mathematician's book, it works as a good and strong metaphor for just about every earthling I pay attention to these days (and that's a lot, lemme tell you; my metaphysical phone never stops ringing). It's about what life would be like in a world with only two dimensions (hence the title--these mathematicians are a hip bunch, aren't they). And how difficult it'd be for people in that world to imagine, much less accept as real, life in your 3-D world.

You see where I'm going with this, Connie?

And if that doesn't work, go back to amazon and pick up a copy of R.D. Laing's old The Politics of the Family.

At least you're stewing, Connie. Which is a lot more than you can say about most of you poor s.o.b's. Bonne chance in the eons ahead.

Got a problem? Write to Skiatatuk.

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