Big George!

Ed. Note: Ms. Shay, our token Republican, agreed to write for us only with the stipulation that no editorial hands touch her words. Thus we publish this, her twentieth column (see bottom of page for complete list), exactly as it came in over our email transom.

Following the most recent, extended "spike" in oil prices, my oilman-husband and I have had our thinking caps on, trying to figure out some fitting and lasting tribute that Midlanders might erect here in the President’s hometown. What, we asked ourselves, will be the President’s lasting contribution to the world?

I mean, he has done so much, it’s hard to decide which of his accomplishments the future will remember him by, isn’t it?

Will it be his bringing of democracy and peace and stability to the trouble-torn Middle East, thus assuring the foreseeable future and its posterity will have an uninterrupted flow of energy for all our continued developments?

Will it be his securing of the southerly American border against the overwhelming in-flow of Undesirables, thus assuring all our children a fair chance at a good education and future employment based solely on ability and having English as a native language?

Will it be his elevation, through genuinely Free Market Economics, of the major American corporations onto the highest conceivable level of profitability?

Will it be the restoration of the Christian foundation of the United States as a result of the right-thinking of the President’s reformed Supreme Court with the blessed Justices Scalia and Thomas, soon to be joined by others who clearly understand the importance and Biblical basis of the Founding Fathers’ Original Intent?

Dub and I carefully weighed and considered all these astounding accomplishments (and others as well, of course). We consulted with the crème de la crème of Midland society and got their opinions as well.

Having drawn up our list, we could only join Condi Rice in her estimation that George W. Bush will go down in history as not merely ONE of the greatest American statesmen, but as the truly single GREATEST.

What, we asked ourselves, can the hometown of person of such historical importance do to honor him down through the coming ages?

Fittingly, the answer came to me during one of Brother Robert E. "Bobby" Quisenberry’s sermons at the Midland Full-immersion Baptist Church of Biblical Literalism.

I was sitting there listening to Brother Bobby go on (and on) about our native son’s untiring efforts to spread liberty and freedom of religion throughout the pagan world, when suddenly my eye fell on the lovely, large stained glass figure of Jesus hovering over the choir loft.

Yes! I thought. Yes! No matter how important each of the President’s single accomplishments is, what really matters is the SIZE of all the them together. As my eye fell on the beautiful image of Our Lord extending the hand of welcome to all who labor and are heavy-laden, I thought: Yes! Size matters! For Texas, for the world, and for our President! What more fitting tribute to his unique achievements than an enormous statue right here in Midland, Texas, his hometown! And what more appropriate place to put it than (are you ready, dear Reader?) straddling Interstate 20???!!! (See illustration above.)

That, dear friends, was the seed for the project which has been taking all my time and has kept me from my Magellan’s Log monthlies. For, indeed, your humble correspondent is serving as chairwoman of the Committee to Erect "Big George" (for that is how we have named the coming statue).