Rate each statement from 5 to 1, where 5 means you strongly agree with the statement and 1 means you strongly disagree. If you feel that the statement does not apply to you, do not mark an answer.

____ 1. I cannot remember any significant differences of opinion between me and my parents.

____ 2. I cannot remember any significant differences of opinion between me and my siblings.

____ 3. I do not see any significant differences between the world described in the holy book of my religion and the world I inhabit.

____ 4. On the whole, I believe that persons who have great wealth and/or power have achieved their positions through a combination of work and ability.

____ 5. I carry more than enough insurance for my possessions to be replaced in case of disaster.

____ 6. I believe that human beings are the crown of creation.

____ 7. Though they are entitled to equal rights under the law, I believe that persons of the other sex in some basic ways think differently from the way I think.

____ 8. I believe that penile penetration of the vagina is the supreme physical expression of human love.

____ 9. I believe that, while other cultures have much to offer, none have given the world as much of value as has the anglo-centric culture.

____ 10. I believe that children should, as far as possible, be shielded from the reality of death and dying.

____ 11. I believe that it is at best stupid and at worst insulting if not blasphemous to suggest that there is any relationship between excrement and money.

____ 12. The arts are fine in their place and as long as they focus on beauty.

____ 13. I either do not dream or dream rarely, and when I remember a dream I do not dwell on it.

____ 14. It is helpful and sometimes necessary to view the world in terms of good and evil.

____ 15. What the Nazis did to the Jews, the Gypsies, and the homosexuals was a one-time thing from which we have learned our lesson.

____ 16. Except for the briefest of glances in locker rooms, I have never been interested in the genitals of persons of my sex.

____ 17. The natural world—animals, plants, mineral resources, etc.—is here for us to use as we see fit.

____ 18. Extreme situations do arise in which torture is permissible.

____ 19. To varying degrees, all forms of human excretia—urine, feces, menstruational discharge, nasal mucous, etc.—are filthy.

____ 20. Perhaps the primary goal of one’s life should be the avoidance of pain.

SCORING

70-100:
You are profoundly repressed. Whatever your present level of "success" and "comfort," there is an enormous—and dangerous—gap between the way the world is and the way you think it is. You are living in a house of cards. We have two suggestions: 1. Tear up your Republican registration card, and 2. get thee to a llamasery.

30-70:
You are moderately repressed. With the aid of drugs—pharmaceutical, alcoholic, nicotinic—you are able to make your way through life with some comfort. The cracks in your delusional state continue to haunt and disturb you. We recommend purchasing several copies of the books below and using them as bathroom reading.

0-30:
You are fairly unrepressed. Though often difficult, your path through life is frequently rewarded with great, unexpected joy from the simplest things.

SUGGESTED READINGS FOR HIGH-SCORERS

Freud unvarnished is tough going, partly because of the difficult reality he was trying to map, and partly—for English readers—because the translations are terrible.

If this little essay and quiz has sparked your curiosity, one of the 20th century’s most remarkable books is worth your attention: Life Against Death, by Norman O. Brown. It too is tough going but at least you’ll be reading it in the original language. If you are willing—and brave enough—to meet Brown on his own terms, his elegant, insightful, insulting, and very accurate arguments regarding the psychoanalytical meaning of history and various other things (money, for one) can change your life. Any era that accepts free-market theory as unquestioningly and naively as this one does needs Norman O. Brown.

More info >> Life Against Death

After Brown, you might want to look at Wilhelm Reich’s The Mass Psychology of Fascism, a profound, clear, and disturbing mirror in which you will see reflected a certain large and rich country that is presently trying to rule the world.

More info >> The Mass Psychology of Fascism

Finally, take a look at Knots, by R.D. Laing, a terrifyingly concise depiction of the unrealities of life in that most hallowed of Late-Capitalist institutions, The Family.

More info >> Knots

Or, the fine (now out-of-print) novel from which the quotation at the top of the introduction was taken:

More info >> A Fine Madness