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Imperialists! Tyrants! Dictators! Theocrats!
U Rate 'Em

by Jason Twinhaft

We give this one a dead-even tie, being unable to distinguish  between the arrogant excellence of "God Save the Queen" and the patriotic frippery of the "Marsaillaise." Not even the oh-so-tempting presence of "Rule, Britannia!" is enough to tip the balance UK-ward in our judgment.

Hitler naturally comes in a close second. "Deutschland ueber Alles", which you may not know the Nazis cribbed from Haydn, even survives today (though with of course slightly different words. Our present American leader, along with all his subjects, sadly has to struggle along with the unsingable "Star-spangled Banner," though it’s possible that may be replaced soon by the more manageable "Onward, Christian Soldiers" (itself a product of Victoria’s empire). And yes, we know we may be being unfair to some of these people who we don't even know if they sang at all, much less what. Go complain, if you must, to the historians for their sloppy record-keeping.

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