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A Checklist for the Culturally Insecure

by Maurice Fitznuggly, Culture StudiesEditor


Part I. Media
___ 1. Give yourself +1 for each XM Satellite radio you have.
___ 2. Give yourself –1 if you subscribe to the print edition of the New York Times.
___ 3. Give yourself –2 if you subscribe to the print edition of your local newspaper.
___ 4. Give yourself –10 if you subscribe to any edition of the Wall Street Journal.
___ 5. Give yourself +1 for each digital camera you own.
___ 6. Give yourself +5 for each digital camera you own that has more than 5 megapixels in its sensor.
___ 7. Give yourself +1 for each plasma TV in your household.
___ 8. Give yourself +5 for each plasma TV in your household that’s so big the wall on which it hangs had to have extra supports added.
___ 9. Give yourself –1 for each projection TV (either rear or front, doesn’t matter) in your household.
___ 10. Give yourself +1 for each 100 DVD’s you own.
___ 11. Give yourself –1 for each 100 VHS tapes you own.
___ 12. Give yourself –5 for each hour more than 2 that you watched TV in the last week.
___ 13. Give yourself –1 for each time you’ve looked at print porn in the last week.
___ 14. Give yourself +1 for each episode of South Park that you know by heart.
___ 15. Give yourself +5 for each Tivo in your household.
Media Score: _____

Go to Part II >>

 

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