April 2003

"Is the voyage worth making that does not enhance awareness of our shared humanity?"

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"Giving well is the best revenge."
  --Douglas Milburn.

Behind the Scenes
Readers keep asking how Magellan's Log, with its unique yin-yang mix of extreme satire and extreme seriousness, gets made. Finally, some tantalizing visual clues...

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
                                  --Ambrose Bierce.

Zen Centerfold 65
The world in flames and here we go again titillating those few readers who may be metaphysically horny...

Toilet Training
Six sad and angry lines from Harriet Lobdell.

Propitiation for Beginners
Negotiations failed. Diplomacy failed. The UN failed. What's left but to turn to the tried-and-true wisdom of the ancients. Which we have done.

Hot Links 65
Here we go again, shutting our ears to the woes of the world, wandering from weird link to weird link. Join us.

Happy Ears 65
Some call it escapism. We call it making your ears happy: 33 wildly assorted midi files, from raucus to right good.

KAF! KAF! Let Us Prey
Wassup? War, that's what, and Doc Cuddy, watching the old violence return, looks for hope. And finds it.

Sex Trivia
How low will an Internet publication sink to increase its readership? This low. Eighteen rarely discussed factoids to tumesce (or, depending on your politico-religious beliefs, detumesce) by.

Milburn's Razor
For the new millennium, an immodestly suggested addendum to Occam's Razor.

The U.S. of E.
Worried about the world? You won't be after you read this uplifting secret memo from the desk of the Secretary of Defense.

Magellan's Log Books & CDs
"Giving well is the best revenge."
Gifts for yourself, and for any of your friends who are still awake and thinking. All drawn from the sometimes boistrous, sometimes beautiful pages of Magellan's Log. Click here for more info about, among other things, the funniest book of the 21st century (so far).

Pagans Attack Our President
Ora Shay, our token Republican (and, alas, most popular columnist), comes to the aid of George W. Bush in his incessant fight against what she calls "Free Thinkers, Socialist Economists, and Dope-smoking, Gender-bending Radical Sociologists."

Smart Mouths 65
Yet another great collection of quotes old and new.

Is It Dictatorship Yet?
Editor Doc Cuddy offers a checklist to help you decide just how much "democracy" we have left.

Tainted Words
Pedro Bofecillos gets all tangled up trying to figure out 1) why "religion" is such a problem word, and 2) what to do about it.

The World's Fastest Bach
Yes, we've been diddling with ol' Johann Sebastian, adjusting one of the 2-part inventions for the faster-paced 21st century. Midi (0:32), and definitely NOT for purists.

Hearing Is Believing
Sawyer Brown goes eyeball-to-eyeball with the camera that refuses to blink for 96 minutes in Alexander Sokurov's The Russian Ark.

Arklets
Art director Joey Ancaster is back with another series of ambiguous images, this time set to Vivaldi. Slideshow with midi (3:57).

Tasteless Jokes 65.
Roll of the Dice. Click here to be whisked to a random page in the archives.

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Magellan's Log 66