Rude Republicans?
Oh My!
by Ora Shay

Ed. Note: Ms. Shay, our token Republican, agreed to write for us only with the stipulation that no editorial hands touch her words. Thus we publish this, her eleventh column (see bottom of page for complete list), exactly as it came in over our email transom.

Midland, TX. The less said about my attitude toward the other writers of this publication, the better, because my work here in the fields of the heathen is, Lord knows, bringing me a kind of renown that this West Texas gal who thought her life peaked when she was elected Assistant Head Cheerleader at Permian Basin High and then went on to finish fourth state-wide in the Texas Interscholastic League Declamation contest never expected to enjoy.

Tangible evidence of my growing renown is the email this column produces. Some mornings I open my mailbox and feel a surprising kinship with that liberal know-it-all Maureen Dowd, whose twice-weekly mavinings in the New York Times must produce a comparable flood of readers' thoughts. Most of my correspondents are right-minded, like-minded people who share heartily in the West Texas wisdom I try to impart in these otherwise paganistic pages. At the other extreme are the left-wing screeds and screams, the real kook mail, which all persons who venture into the public discourse learn to deal with simply by ignoring it.

Occasionally, however, I do get a message from a disturbed reader who disagrees with me but about whose words there is a certain atmosphere of need and vulnerability that, in spite of obvious political wrong-thinking on the writer's part, causes me to reply with words of sympathy and suggestions about which magazines and books the writer might find helpful in straightening out his or her misguided liberalness.

For example, the following popped up in my box just last week:

Dear Ora,
Is it just me, or have I noticed in the last year or so a sharp rise in rudeness everywhere in life in these United States? I mean, we're sort of used to impoliteness when driving and even when shopping. But lately I keep encountering it with friends and family. Unnecessarily harsh words, or ignoring requests for help or just contact. It's like we've forgotten how to be nice to each other, and how important that is.

Thinking about this, and having been hurt so often myself, I got to wondering why. And this is what I concluded: Our leaders are supposed to be role models, aren't they? But just look at how they talk and behave ALL THE TIME nowadays. Angry faces, scowling looks, hard words anytime you turn on the news. I'm not just talking about all the war talk either. Living in America now is like finding yourself called to the principal's office every day and being scolded non-stop for stuff you didn't have anything to do with. I know you probably won't agree with me but I think our leaders have poisoned the atmosphere of the United States and the well of American goodness worse that Osama bin Laden ever could.
                                                    Gasping for Breath in Des Moines

Here, dear readers, is the reply I sent:

Dear Gasping,
Of course it is just you! Can't you see how, with your soft-hearted liberal biases (so obvious when one reads between the lines of your whiney little letter), YOU are expecting the WORST from our brave leaders? Because you expect the worst, that's what you find! Didn't you already learn that lesson in kindergarten, or at least in vacation Bible school?

What you interpret as rudeness from our leaders, I, for example, interpret as brave, adult, stiff-upper-lip TRUE INSPIRING LEADERSHIP. Do you think George W. Bush, or any of his co-workers, WANTS to go through life frowning the way he has to in these perilous times? Of course he doesn't!

But when you're faced with a threat to our very precious way of American life such as posed by North Korea or any of the other Axis of Evil members, you're certainly not going to get up every morning with a smile on your face.

And think about poor Mrs. Laura Bush. You want her to smile all the time and say please and thank you when she has to suffer humiliations like what just happened when she wanted to set up an inspiring, soul-lifting evening of poetry and discussion at the White House, and she sent out invitations to some of the greatest American living poets, and most of them REFUSED TO COME, and a lot of them got together and published poems about what a bad person her husband is and what a terrible government he's running just because he too can't bring himself to smile all the time while protecting us all from the many threats both at home and abroad?

No, Gasping, the slights and petty insults you perceive all around you every day now are part and parcel of the War on Terrorism, and you should see and accept them as such. The next time some SUV cuts you off on the freeway, just remember the driver may well be an FBI agent or a highly placed official of the Department of Homeland Security on his or her way to secure some vital piece of America against Muslim or Korean or Iranian attack! Try to keep in mind that the tiny disruptions and irritants in your life are in fact your own modest contributions to the on-going fight for our survival. And the fact that you are encountering rudeness among those closest to you--your friends and family--only shows that it is YOU who are poisoning the well through your failure to understand what's really going on in the endless battle against our enemies.

If you have trouble remembering this, I suggest you buy a package of American flag decals and place them prominently around your house (on the fridge, on the bathroom mirrors, by the telephone, beside your TV screens, and so on). Every time your see the one of those lovely symbols, just think: "Siss-boom-bah! Red, white, and blue! I'm part of the War on Terrorism too!"

END

Ora's Other Output:
Shay No.1: Thanks a Lot, Dubya!
Shay No. 2: Just Say No to Tasteless Dubya Jokes
Shay No. 3: Attaboy, 43!
Shay No. 4: Midland's Own Boy George
Shay No 5: Noblesse Oblige in the Permian Basin
Shay No. 6: Oil Patch Sage
Shay No. 7: Soft Talk
Shay No. 8: Ta-ta, La-la Land!
Shay No. 9: An Open Letter to Saddam Hussein
Shay No. 10: S.A.A.F.J.: A Tale of Henry Kissinger and My Favorite Fly Swatter
Shay No. 11: Poisoning the Well, Oh My!

Read Ora Shay's Fan Mail >>

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