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Concentrate on whatever object, movie, book, TV show, or piece of music, art, or whatever you wish to rate culturally. Then read each statement below and insert a number between 1 and 10 in the blank after each statement, where 1 means a strong NO!, and 10 means a strong HALLELUJAH YES!!!

The letter "X" in each statement refers to the name of whatever work it is that you're rating.

1. Would __________ (insert name of your deity) approve of X? ____

2.  Does X cause phallic detumescence or, as the case may be, drying of the vagina? ____

3. If you possess an X, or if you are seen in the presence of X, or if you are heard to express approval of X, will other members of your sect criticize you? ____

4. Does X re-affirm your belief in the wisdom of living an unexamined life based on the edicts of people with more money, power, celebrity, and a larger SUV's or pickups than you have? ____

5. If every unclothed statue in all the art museums of the world disappeared and were replaced by X, would the world be a better place? ____

6. Rather than having X with you, would you prefer to carry around your religion's holy book at all times? ____

7. If heathen followers of other religions could be exposed to X, would it help them to see the error of their ways? ____

8. Does X provide significant support for your faith that penises or, as the case may be, vaginas, should be covered at all times in public? ____

9. Does X make you feel even better about corporal punishment for severely errant children and capital punishment for severely errant adults? ____

10. Does X help you avoid thinking about the one billion people in the world who are starving? ____

Scoring:

85-100. A religious masterpiece. Be sure to share this work with your children as often as possible.

70-84. A work of considerable value but probably best appreciated by the more mature members of your sect.

Below 70. A dangerous and subversive work. At best it should be destroyed. Certainly you want to protect children from it.

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