 |
1. Do you have a neighbor with a flagpole who
sometimes forgets and leaves the flag out at night? |
|
2. Do you have a neighbor none of whose vehicles are
manufactured by a company whose headquarters are in the United States? |
|
3. Do you have a neighbor who does not go to church
on Sunday? |
|
4. Do you have a neighbor whose religion worships on
a day other that Sunday? |
|
5. Do you have a neighbor who subscribes to the New
York Times? |
|
6. Do you have a neighbor who uses less than 100
pounds of fertilizer on his lawn each summer? |
|
7. Do you have a neighbor whose lawn can most
charitably be described as "shabby" or "unkempt"? |
|
8. Do you have a neighbor who regularly receives
mailings from any or all of the following: Sierra Club, the American Civil Liberties
Union, People for the American Way, Consumer Reports? Ask your mailman if you’re not
sure. |
|
9. Do you have a neighbor who keeps strange hours (up
in the middle of the night, sleeping during the day, etc.)? |
|
10. Do you have a neighbor who entertains guests
whose ancestors clearly did not come from northwestern Europe? |
|
11. Do you have a neighbor whose wife wears little or
no make-up? |
|
12. Is there a household in your neighborhood in
which at least one male has a beard? |
|
13. Do you have a neighbor who clearly frequents a
public library and returns with one or more books? |
|
14. Is there a house in your neighborhood from which
on one or more occasions you have smelled incense? |
|
15. Do you have a neighbor who never barbecues or has
any other kind of cook-out activity in his backyard? |
|
16.Do you have a neighbor who watches television less
than four hours a day? |
|
17. Do you have a neighbor who has painted his house
an unusual color or combination of colors that really doesn’t go with the rest of the
neighborhood? |
|
18. Do you have a neighbor
who, you have heard, is any of the following: a vegetarian, a liberal, a union member? |
|
19. Do you have a neighbor who
speaks with an accent? |
|
20. Do you have a neighbor who
would be offended by the obvious gender-bias of this questionnaire? |
. . . . .
If you have answered "yes" to ANY of the above questions, it is your
duty as a patriotic American to fill in the appropriate information in the "Operation
TIPS Citizen Reporting Form" below. Print and mail AT ONCE to:
Karl Rove, De Facto Gauleiter
Minister for Public Safety
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20500
Note: Not only is the national security information you provide confidential,
it should be anonymous. Do NOT provide your own name and address. Do NOT put a return
address on the envelop. Handle the form and the envelop only with gloves. Do NOT lick the
stamp.
. . . . .
Operation TIPS Citizen Reporting
Form
1. Name(s) of Suspected Un-American Person(s):
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
2. Address(es) of Suspected Un-American Person(s):
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
3. Suspected Un-American Activity (describe in 25 words or less):
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
4. Employer(s) of Suspected Un-American Person(s) (if known):
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
5. Party Affiliation of Suspected Un-American Person(s) (if known):
_________________________________________________
6. Religious Affiliation of Suspected Un-American Person(s) (if known):
_________________________________________________
7. Native Language of Suspected Un-American Person(s) (if other than English) (If unsure,
give it your best guess):
_________________________________________________
8. Skin Color of Suspected Un-American Person(s) (if other than extremely pale white):
_________________________________________________
9. Facial Hair Configuration of Suspected Un-American Person(s):
_________________________________________________
10. Briefly add any other pertinent Un-American information you may be aware of about this
person (attach extra sheets as needed):
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
. . . . .
You think we're kidding about this?
How far from reality is our little piece of satire?
Check the real thing for yourself:
https://www.citizencorps.gov/tips.html
