MLMPI! SCORING & INTERPRETATION Scoring the MLMPI! How many "Yes" answers: ______ Subtract the number of no’s from the number of yes’s and write the result here: ______ For example, if you have 43 yes’s and 17 no’s, your score is 43-17 = 26. It’s OK if you have more no’s than yes’s. That just means your score will be a negative number. For example, if you have 24 yes’s and 36 no’s, your score is 24 – 36 = -12. Tally the number of yes’s and no’s on questions with triple asterisks: Asterisk Yes’s: ______ Asterisk No’s: ______
Books will no doubt be written about interpreting the MLMPI score, but for our purposes here, the simple truth is: The closer to ZERO your score is, the closer you are to being a truly well-balanced, happily consuming member of Late Capitalist Society. The closer to ZERO your score, the more likely you will be happily and passively content to work, consume, pay bills, work, consume, pay bills, accumulating goods that expand rapidly to fill each of your new, bigger houses as you move up the corporate ladder. The farther from ZERO on the POSITIVE side your score is, the more you will find yourself involved in ambitious, activist undertakings in right-thinking conservative politics, whether at your job, in your church, in your PTO, or wherever. You will rise quickly in the ranks of the Republican Party and if you stay the course will probably wind up as county chairperson and be interviewed frequently by the local TV and print media. The farther from ZERO on the NEGATIVE side your score is, the more you will find yourself fighting losing, bleeding-heart, knee-jerk-liberal battles for ne’er-do-well underdogs and their endless lost causes. The more negative your score, the faster you will rise in the Democratic Party, eventually becoming county chairperson and being generally ignored by the local TV and print media. BUT (and this is one important "but"), remember: balance, balance, balance. If your POSITIVE score EXCEEDS 30, your world-view is seriously out of balance and you will likely find yourself running for and being elected to either the US House or even the US Senate as a prominent, much-admired Republican leader. If your NEGATIVE score EXCEEDS 30, there’s a good chance you’ll wind up either as a Democratic member of the US House or Senate, or as a writer on a maverick, wholly irreverent online magazine.
BUT: THREE OR MORE NEGATIVE ANSWERS ON THE ASTERISK QUESTIONS are indicative of extremely seriously misalignment between your view of the world and your place in it, and the currently prevailing paradigm of Capitalism Triumphant. A few persons with three or more negative asterisk answers have responded well to a regimen of high-dosage psychoactive drugs. But neither electroshock nor lobotomy has been shown to have any effect whatever on such persons. If a year on Prozac produces no change in score, the general recommendation is to undertake a career as an artist specializing in faux wall finishes and abandon all hope of ever living in a gated community, much less one overlooking a golf course. END How many voices of humor and hope
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(If the image on the left is still bothering you, you need more help
that can be got from a simple diagnostic test.) Science, religion, philosophy, and the US
Dept. of Agriculture all teach us the importance of maintaining balance in all phases of
our lives, from equal tire pressure all around to a diet containing all the food
groups. "Balance" is also the key concept in interpreting your MLMPI
score.
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2002 Texas Chapbook Press
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