After printing the image, and using a magnifying glass, my wife and I were able to discern the following startling observations. Please bear in mind the scale here. These baffling statements were inscribed somehow (and in some substance that is visible only through a polarizing filter) high on the cliff and are 600 TO 800 FEET IN HEIGHT!!!

Who could have done this except some joy-riding alien kids hovering in their UFO in front of the cliff and having a ball with some kind of extra-galactic spray-paint???

As you will see, the statements are shocking, offensive, childish, and logically impossible!!!

Clockwise from the upper left, we believe the inscriptions read as follows:

e = mc² only in cosmic backwaters.

mozart's daddy was one of us.

e.t. [heart] art bell.

pi [not equal to] 3.1416.

yes god speaks but only to herself.

dubya does it with dybbuks.

call us when you've outgrown capitalism.

My wife and I herewith pass them on to the world and wish to have nothing further to do with this photograph. No talk-show interviews, no appearances on Geraldo or 20-20, no book-contract. If anyone tracks us down, we will deny any connection with such heresy. If this is the best our supposedly advanced little space brothers can come up with, my wife joins me in saying simply, "Pshaw!"