Noblesse Oblige
in the Permian Basin

by Ora Shay

Ed. Note: Ms. Shay, our Token Republican and longtime resident of the president's hometown of Midland, Texas, agreed to write for us only with the stipulation that no editorial hands touch her words. Thus we publish this, her fifth column, exactly as it came in over our email transom.

Watching our boy president and his precious wife make their gracious way through the briars and brambles of that really big thicket called "geopolitics," I’m often reminded of what my grandmother told me when I was cheated out of the election for head cheerleader at Permian Basin High School here in Midland: "A rose don’t got to do nothing but look pretty and smell good."

It took me a while to figure out that all she meant was that in the to and fro of life’s little and big tiffs, all you can do is also the best the you can do which is to your own self be true. My grandmother knew my best armor was my sweet smile and sunshine personality and that I should never lower myself to the level of my rotgut-swilling, poor white trash enemies and opponents.

My forebear’s deep wisdom came to mind when I was watching our Midland Boy Who Made Good in the press conference with that hippie prime minister the Nipponese have and he accidentally misspoke himself and talked about "devaluation" when any fool knew he actually meant "deflation." Just a small error, showing that even the great men are human, but before you could skin a cat that Japanese financial market was in a tail spin and the so-called world-press was all over Our Boy, calling into question his intelligence just like they used to do all the time before he showed them his true metal following 9-11.

And how did our true-blue President respond? Did he fly off the handle and start hurling invectives? No. His good West Texas upbringing showed through. He sent his good buddy Ari Fleischer out to calmly remind everybody that the President had not only MEANT to say "deflation" but that he had actually said it but he just happens to pronounce it a little differently from most of us so it comes out sounding a lot like "devaluation."

While Ari was taking care of that little bit of business, our President was continuing to spread good will, meeting the World Champion Sumo Wrestler, strolling through the Ginza, pausing in one electronics shop to display his Gameboy prowess and ALL THE WHILE WITH HIS SAME OLD INGRATIATING GRIN ON HIS FACE CALMING EVERYBODY DOWN IN SPITE OF ALL HELL BREAKING LOOSE IN THE TOKYO FINANCIAL MARKETS!

This, my friends, is what you call "noblesse oblige." Which means behaving in a generous and Christian manner no matter how scurrilously your enemies and opponents behave.

Class tells.

It’s been a long time since we had this much class in that old house at 1800 Pennsylvania Avenue. The American electorate has a long and really good memory. They knew that any son of a president who could throw up all over an earlier prime minister of Japan and act as if nothing had happened would certainly take after his daddy and know how to handle himself noblesse-obligely when dealing with rude persons of every ethnic, religious, and sexual stripe.

I mean, what do pretzels have to do with the fate of the world? Just think, though, how our famous graduate of Permian Basin High handled that little mis-swallowing that every media outlet in the world went crazy about. He made a nice little joke on himself and at the same time paid homage to the source of his own noblesse oblige by pointing out to the assembled world press that he guessed he should have listened to his mother about the importance of chewing your food.