Magellan's Log: Spare Change

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Spare Change
by Joel Fluker, Washington Correspondent

"The nation is going to need an additional $60 or $75 billion in economic stimulus."
–George W. Bush, October 3, 2001.
Unscripted remarks to American business leaders.

We admired the president’s casual "guesstimate." $60 billion? $75 billion? No problem. After all, what’s $15 billion among friends?

We thought about it for a while and came up with this idea:

Suppose our compliant Congress goes with the president’s low-ball figure, gives him and the country a mere $60 billion (divvied up, as it will be, among industries represented by the most highly skilled lobbyists).

Further suppose that some maverick member of Congress actually did a little figuring and realized what could be done with that additional, casually mentioned "$15 billion" if it were thrown into the pot.

In these days when $15 billion is only pocket change for Bill Gates and his like, we can too easily forget that it’s still a lot of money.

So:

The Magellan’s Log
Suggested Congressional Shopping List
for Any Extra $15 Billion
That Happens to Be Lying Around

300,000,000 bags of rice @ $50 to be air-dropped into whatever is left of Afghanistan.

5,000,000 upright Yamaha pianos @ $3,000 to be distributed in schools around the world (any leftovers can be placed in rest stops along the US Interstate highways).

500,000,000 blank canvases @ $30 to be distributed to the nation’s artists.

15,000,000 desktop computers @ $1,000 to be distributed to households with income below the poverty level.

500,000,000 copies of Some of My Best Friends Are Arabs @ $30 to be given to Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson for distribution to their Sunday School faithful.

150,000,000 6-foot trees @ $100 for the beautification of whatever is left of Afghanistan.

50,000,000 bicycles @ $300 to be distributed randomly around America for the use of former-SUV drivers when gas reaches $5/gallon.

150,000 new teachers @ a salary of $100,000 for American public schools.

15,000,000 uninsured American children @ $1,000 for health-care coverage.

END

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