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Copyright © 2003

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Staff Biographies

"Giving well is the best revenge."

The Rape of Chopin
Angus Verspeeten has been fine-tuning his ears, literally. He's here to tell us why your rich uncle's $80,000 Steinway sounds as wrong as your local bar's honky-tonk piano... and what you can do about it.

Cats, Cowboys, & Capitalists
Hard to believe, but we're reduced to publishing stuff from scions of industry (so to speak). We figured it wouldn't hurt to know how the other half thinks (sort of).

Eleven Little Words
Filter eleven words in two sentences through 1,500 years, two languages, and a whole bunch of cultures, and this is what you get. Words to the Wise.

Just Say No to Tasteless Dubya Jokes!
Our new Token Republican columnist, Ora Shay, is deeply, deeply offended by disrespectful jokes about Governor President Bush's mental capacity, offering 7 allegedly humorous examples to make her case.

readingreadiness
Bob Odom, our New Orleans observer, has been keep an eagle-eye on his yard, with unusual results.

PENTIMENTO
That's Italian for "contrition," the only clue we can offer to help you with this little poem by Edward Hothi.

Magellan's Log Books & CDs
"Giving well is the best revenge."
Gifts for yourself, and for any of your friends who are still awake and thinking. All drawn from the sometimes boistrous, sometimes beautiful pages of Magellan's Log. Click here for more info about, among other things, the funniest book of the 21st century (so far).

Music of the Spheres
It's not much, just nine little specks of solar dust and stuff on the distant edge of a minor galaxy but, gosh, it's home. From the many space probes and probettes we've selected what we think are the best portraits of each planet, with definitely non-Holstian midi's attached. The Music of the Spheres (with midi's).

You can have concentrated wealth, or you can have democracy. You can't have both at the same time.
     --Louis Brandeis.

Blinders Begone!
Our science and technology editor, Rean Rhyne, has been trying the unlikely trick of thinking simultaneously about the behavior of our current crop of leaders and the silence that SETI keeps finding. This quixotic effort has led him to formulate what he calls Rhyne's Law.

"May I have your attention... please?" So asks Reppy Toppenish in this bizarre journey into the nether reaches of psychology. He doesn't want just a little attention. He wants a lot, a whole lot.

Handle with Care
Hinko Livernoix speaks in tongue of a recent night in the theater against a backfrop from a long-ago production..

Tasteless Jokes 39.
Kulchur Kwotient 799.

Roll of the Dice. Click here to be whisked to a random page in the archives.

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Magellan's Log 40