

The Anti-Irascibility League
of America
by Reppy Toppenish
Is it just me, or has there been a mark increased in irritability
among intelligent people lately? Especially since noon, January 20, 2001. I mean, smart
people flying off the handle about incidents that before that troubling date wouldve
been brushed off and ignored.
Certainly, a good case can be made that, in spite of its many attractive features, the
most potent characteristic of this universe, as far as human beings are concerned, is its
tendency to irritate.
The cosmic irritants in question of course range in size and intensity from the small
to the ridiculously large. The big irritants (pain, death, Bill Gates, etc.) theres
not much we can do about.
The smaller irritants are a different matter. Indeed, for millennia, sages in cultures
everywhere have all come to the same conclusion: The most reliable measure of maturity is
the degree to which a given person reacts to and deals calmly with these smaller
irritants.
Yet it seems that since the Official Re-Ascendancy of Small Minds and Greedy Fingers on
January 20, 2001, persons who through their lives try to make generous sense out of this
on-the-whole irritating universe are finding it more and more difficult just to get from
one moment to the next with any semblance of equanimity.
As a public service, we have been able to assemble, after some months of close study, a
list of three over-reactions, along with causes, and cures.
UNCONTROLLABLE IRASCIBLE
REACTION NO. 1 > >
UNCONTROLLABLE IRASCIBLE REACTION NO. 2 > >
UNCONTROLLABLE IRASCIBLE REACTION NO. 3 > >
A.I.L.A. Membership Info
Membership in the A.I.L.A. is free, but registration is required. Following registration,
you will receive monthly updates of the latest discoveries relating to Uncontrollable
Irascible Reactions, along with possible cures and general avoidance techniques. Send (by
paper mail ONLY-- all thinking persons are in agreement that email is one of the primary
causes of Uncontrollable Irascible
Reactions) your name, address, and telephone number to:
Dick Cheney, Vice President**
c/o The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, D.C.
**Note to the Politically Irascible: The A.I.L.A. is a non-political
organization. We have made Vice President Cheney our honorary chair because, clearly, any
person with HIS history of heart problems who can survive in the vituperative,
dunderheaded environment of the present Administration is a true role-model of virtuosic
irascibility.
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