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The Anti-Irascibility League
of America



UNCONTROLLABLE IRASCIBLE REACTION NO. 2

Symptom:
Instant piercing pain in either frontal lobe, or in both at the same time. Blink rate rises rapidly, as does heart beat and, no doubt, blood pressure. But it’s mainly the piercing cranial pain that brings you to your knees and completely disrupts whatever meaningful task you were involved in moments before.

Possible Causes:
1. After spending hours putting the final touches on your budget proposal, including a spiffy PowerPoint presentation, the culmination of several months’ work, you email the whole thing to your superior. Minutes later your email thingie dings. You see that your superior has responded. With visions of a bonus dancing in your head, you click to open and find that his reply consists entirely of:

:-(

2. You are concerned that a good friend is spending way too much time reading the "good war" books by the likes of Tom Brokaw and Stephen A. Ambrose. You send her a long, thoughtful email in which you carefully, though not without a few barbed remarks, point out how those guys are literally "white-washing" (racial pun intended) a whole chunk of the 20th century in which nobody’s motives were anywhere close to pure. Three days pass and her one-line response appears in your mailbox: "I’m entertained by your dislike of Stephen Ambrose."

3. You are watching the evening news when Ari Fleischer comes on and is seen scolding the Washington press corps for being interested in the private, family shenanigans of the Bush twins who have been arrested yet again for liquor-law violations in Austin.

4. Though you have vowed to pay no further attention to the dangerous pranks of the current, Neo-Mussolinian Supreme Court, your eye falls on a report in the morning paper of the latest round of Decisions from Ga-ga Land, and you read just long enough to discover that the police are now perfectly within their rights if they haul a mother with two infants in the car off to jail for not having her seatbelt fastened, leaving no one to care for the children.

Cure:
Get online. Go to Google, and type in the word "monastery" along with the name of your city. Go to the webpage of the nearest such institution and find out how to sign up. Poverty, chastity, and obedience will be small prices to pay to achieve equanimity while the rest of the world goes to hell.

UNCONTROLLABLE IRASCIBLE REACTION NO. 3   > >

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