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GECW vs. GICW
The Magellan’s Log True Portfolio Check-up
Value is so important in these triumphant Free Market days of Late
Capitalism. To assist our readers in understanding their own value, we have a created a
worksheet which incorporates not only your hard-won stocks and stock options, but other
parts of your life as well. How much are you really worth? Spend a few minutes answering
the questions below and you will quickly determine your true value.
 Part 1. Calculating Your GECW.
| 1. How many people with a net worth of over $1
billion can you name? |
______ |
| 2. How many NBA centers (past or present) can you
name? |
______ |
| 3. How many NFL quarterbacks (past or present) can
you name? |
______ |
| 4. How many current sitcoms can you name? |
______ |
| 5. How many movie stars below the age of 30 can
you name? |
______ |
| 6. Think for a moment: How many funny commercials
can you remember? |
______ |
| 7. How many current pop singers can you name? |
______ |
| 8. How many video games are in your present
residence? |
______ |
| 9. How many bottles of wine are in your present
residence? |
______ |
| 10. How many American movies did you see in a
theater in the last six months? |
______ |
| 11. How many hours per week do you spend in an
environment where you either talk or are expected to talk on demand? |
______ |
| 12. How many hours per week do you spend within
reach of a QWERTY keyboard? |
______ |
| 13. How many hours per week do you spend looking
at a computer monitor screen? |
______ |
| 14. How many hours per week do you watch TV? |
______ |
15. TOTAL
|
______ |
16. Multiply the number in Line 15 times $1,000
and write the answer here:
|
______ |
| 17. Write the present value of your stock
portfolio here: |
______ |
18. Add Lines 16 and 17:
This number is your GECW (Gross Emphemerality Cultural Worth). |
______ |
| 18a. Special Adjustment for Cynics. If you think
this whole exercise is ridiculous, multiply line 18 times 10; otherwise, write the number
from Line 18 here: |
______ |
Part 2. Calculating Your GICW.
| 19. How many books are in your present residence? |
______ |
| 20. How many theater, opera, or symphony
performances did you attend AND ENJOY in the last year? |
______ |
| 21. How many living poets can you name? |
______ |
| 22. How many winners of the Nobel Prize for
literature can you name? |
______ |
| 23. How many types of roses can you name? |
______ |
| 24. How many non-electric musical instruments are
in your present residence? |
______ |
| 25. How many Chinese poets (living or dead) can
you name? |
______ |
| 26. How many Lieder recitals have you
attended? |
______ |
| 27. How many Renaissance painters can you name? |
______ |
| 28. How many British dramatists can you name? |
______ |
| 29. How many Billy Holiday recordings do you own? |
______ |
| 30. How many poems by dead poets can you recite
from memory? |
______ |
| 31. How many of your dreams can you remember at
this moment? |
______ |
| 32. How many hours per week (aside from sleep and
watching TV)) do you spend in an environment where you neither talk nor are expected to
talk? |
______ |
33. TOTAL
|
______ |
34. Multiply the number in Line 33 times $1,000
and write the answer here:
This number is your GICW (Gross Immortality Cultural Worth). |
______ |
Part 3. Calculating Your Net True Worth.
| Subtract Line 18a from Line 34. |
|
| GICW |
______ |
| GECW |
- ______ |
RESULT:
|
______ |
END
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