January 21, 2003

The "Dubya Practices Middle East Diplomacy" Event

To celebrate the second anniversary of his inauguration, Dubya loads several cases of Gallo Red onto Air Force One, then flies around and around over Tennessee, peeing and flushing to his heart’s content. Tiring of this, he pays a surprise visit to the Middle East, where he lands, and in the Presidential limo first moons the Israeli prime minister’s house and then cruises the border of the Gaza Strip mooning the rambunctious rock-throwing kids. Within minutes after Air Force is on the way back to D.C., Israel lobs a couple of small nuclear missiles in the direction of Mecca, all Arab countries cut off relations with the United States and raise the price of oil to $100 per barrel. Wall Street panics.