August 3, 2002

The "Nice August Surprise for Dubya’s Friends" Event

On August 2, preparing to sign a Nuclear Arms Reduction treaty that Colin has spent a year negotiating with Russia, Dubya spots what he thinks is a typo in the document. He sees  the number "3400" written without a comma, that being the number of nuclear arms to be left in the world after the treaty takes effect, a reduction from 34,000 at present (and furthermore, a reduction which Colin was sure would net him the next Nobel Peace Prize). Before signing, Dubya smirks, inserts a caret after the "3" and above the caret makes a comma and then just for fun adds a couple of zeroes, so that instead of decreasing the number of atomic weapons in the world to 3,400, the treaty increases the number to 3,004,000. Dubya's smirk broadens to a grin as he thinks about what Pappy and ol’ Jim Baker will say about his smarts when they find out what he’s done. Thus, on August 3, the armaments and nuclear weapons industries experience a paradigm-shifting rise in stock prices. Though not fully comprehending Dubya’s stratagem, Wall Street is ecstatic.