Part 2. Quickie Guide to American Cities
While the United States prides itself on being a "multi-cultural" society, there are nonetheless certain topics which the visitor is better off never mentioning in certain parts of the country. While it is always risky even for the most hardened international traveler to venture outside of New York City or Los Angeles, if you must, try to keep the following taboos in mind.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Seattle:
1. Greed. Just as in Nazi Germany, such concepts as "dictatorship" and "final solution" were considered good things, in Seattle, unbridled greed is considered a good thing.
2. Skin tone. Seattlites like to think of themselves as extremely cosmopolitan. Still, apart from the occasional Asian, and the far, far more occasional African-American, you won’t see anything except thousands of very white persons, made even whiter by the lack of direct sun. Only the most thoughtless tourist brings this Euro-centrism up while in the Seattle (or Redmond) city limits.
3. The weather.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Atlanta:
1. General Sherman.
2. Bad highrise architecture.
3. Incest. This one is a particular toughie, because a look at faces on one stroll through the Atlanta airport convinces you that cousins have been marrying cousins around here for way too many generations.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Chicago:
1. The Cubs.
2. The 1968 Democratic Convention.
3. Carl Sandburg.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Dallas:
1. November 22, 1963.
2. Tom Landry, in any but the most hushed, reverential tones.
3. "Artists." In Dallas, nothing is art unless it has a price tag well into 7 figures. Among Texans, the purest form of which breed exists in Dallas, the persons who create such objects are known as "artistes," with the accent heavy on the second syllable. And don’t you forget it, Bubba.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Boston:
1. New York City.
2. European dead white male culture, in any but the most hushed, reverential tones.
3. Cheers.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Miami:
1. Elian Gonzalez.
2. Fidel Castro.
3. Bebe Rebozo, Meyer Lansky, et al.

Things NEVER to Discuss or Mention in Washington, D.C.:
1. Penis size.
2. The possibility that the United States is in any way whatever not the crown of creation and the highest expression of humanity’s desire for freedom, tolerance, and obscenely high sustainable profits.
3. The possibility that homosexuals deserve equal rights.

NEXT: Part 3. Essential Do's and Don't's
for the Savvy International Traveler in America > >

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