The World's Biggest Tie: by Doc Cuddy
That's all that the world's biggest tie means. A hundred million people walked into the voting booth and said, "A pox on both your houses." If you're going to insult us in this way then we'll just divvy it up nice and even... And anyway, we're much more interested in the markets and our portfolios than in you guys." The old men in suits are right: There is no constitutional crisis. America will continue. The American government will continue. Governance is still possible. Given the tie, governing isn't. All that the tie says is, "We don't really care which of you no-good S.O.B.'s gets in, just don't rock the boat. Give us more of the same." Whichever one is president, he will hold the reins of power but will be able to do little with them except keep the team trotting along in its present direction and at its present pace. And sure, whichever one it is, the crazies in his party will try carzy stuff in Congress, but the only legislation that will pass is basically that required to keep the government functioning. And the appointed crazies will also try stuff (remember James Watt, Reagan's madcap secretary of the interior?), but you may be sure that the courts will be busy as the other side's crazies respond litigiously. Bush may have a harder time trying to govern, simply because his big ideas are loonier, and the Republican crazies are generally a littler crazier than the Democratic ones. Imagine what will happen in a 50-50 Senate when his proposed tax cut for the rich gets there. Or the uproar in an almost evenly divided House when he sets out to drill the Arctic wilderness. Besides, how many of his opponents in and out of the Congress are going to let him (and us) forget that he lost the popular vote? Gore, in contrast, might do better. How much opposition is his prescription-drug Medicare proposal going to meet? Not much, because when it comes down to it, opposing it would be like opposing mom and apple pie. Gotta help the old folks, no doubt about it. Whoever winds up in the oval office, it's going to be pretty much business (emphasis on "business," for sure) as usual. Given that, I hope Bush gets in. Near the end of the campaign he kept taunting the Democrats with their own line ("You ain't seen nuthin yet"). And he of course was right. Imagine the egg on the American face when Dubya starts negotiating with Jiang Zemin. Of course he'll be surrounded by Poppy's old Cold Warriors, but still, Dubya's the one who's going to have to face the press EVERY DAY. For sure, we ain't seen nuthin yet. END
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