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*Letter-to-the-editor
Because of time pressure on all of us in this fast-paced era of burgeoning cyber-
enlightenment, we thought a multiple-choice letter to the editor might be of assistance to
those of you whose Palms are already packed with to-do lists and appointments.
Click here, which will open a blank
e-mail addressed to us. Then copy the form below into the blank e-mail, delete the choices
you don't want to use, and send it on its way.
Dear Magellan,
[Insert title of article]
was one of the most
[choose adjective]
insightful
banal
politically biased
blasphemous
pious
lascivious
anti-capitalist
capitalist
environmentally sensitive
environmentally insensitive
side-splitting
under-cooked
enervating
mauve
pieces I’ve come across in
[choose number]
1
2
3
4
more than 4
years of web-surfing.
While I often find the tone and content of Magellan’s Log
[choose adjective]
sophomoric
sagacious
progressive
mindless
feline
near-pornographic
downright pornographic
just plain filthy
excessively intellectual
arcane
in this piece I thought you hit just the right combination of wit and
[choose noun]
prejudice disguised as wisdom
whimsy
deconstruction
amorphous irony
appropriation
cognitive dissonance.
If I may offer a bit of constructive criticism, in the future I would like to see you
publish more
[choose one]
celebrity porn photos
pirated mp3 files
Southern Baptist homilies of the fire-and-brimstone kind
possible explanations for why my sex-life has deteriorated
since the advent of the Internet
really easy crossword puzzles
recipes for formal dinner parties seating anywhere
from 8 to 20
tips on limiting Windows crashes to six per day.
[choose closing]
Embarrassed to have been caught reading your publication,
Baffled by your many show-off cultural references,
Retinally offended by your bad web-site design,
Wiping away tears of laughter,
Despairing at the thought that a billion years of evolution
has brought us to Magellan's Log,
[insert incredibly witty handle, or, if you choose, your real name.]
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