"Fuck off," Lao-Tze said, without looking up from
the manuscript he was writing. "Done got one."
"Then I will be his apprentice." Xiaoyang rather liked this new idea.
An apprentice to an apprentice: an extra layer of humility couldnt hurt.
"He dont need one neither."
"May I ask him?
"Sure." Lao-Tze went to the door and shouted, "Hey,
cocksucker!"
Xiaoyang blushed. He heard footsteps, then a disheveled figure appeared in the
doorway.
"This heres my Eye-talian apprentice. Tell the man your name,
boy."
"Machiavelli, sir."
"Tell him what you do here."
"I suck cock, sir."
Xiaoyang blanched.
"Thats all, boy. Git back to work now."
Lao-Tze glanced at his visitor. "You sure you want to apprentice to that
one?"
Xiaoyang was fighting an urge to turn and run down the mountain. He remembered
the dream three years ago which had set him on the path, not an easy one, leading to this
place and this embarrassing moment. He realized tears were running down his cheeks. He
began to sob audibly.
"You read, boy?" Lao-Tze asked.
Xiaoyang nodded.
"Cmere. Come on. I wont bite, I promise."
Xiaoyang walked to the floor desk in front of which Lao-Tzu was sitting
cross-legged.
"Lookit. Whatd I just write? Come on. Read it out loud."
Xiaoyang squinted. "The light is so dim."
"Aint neither. Yous the one whos dim. Read the fucking
sentence."
Xiaoyang took out his cigarette lighter, lighted it, and read, "What is
there you lack?"
"Agin, I want to hear it agin, slow like."
"What... is... there... you... lack?"
"That all? That all you see there?"
"Yes."
"And--?"
Xiaoyang tears were drying. He was becoming angry. He had come so far at such a
price, leaving his family, his job, sacrificing a secure future, then a year of confused
wandering just to find the mountain. Now this ignorant, perverted old man was teasing him.
He wanted to scream, to hit, to destroy.
"You done forgot to breathe, boy. Watch out. You go blind, your heart
becomes steel when you forget your breathing. Your roots are in the very air and beyond,
every minute, every second. What kind of tree cuts off its own roots, huh?"
Lao-Tze stood, put his hand lightly on Xiaoyangs shoulder. "You
read. Thats good. Most of em caint even do that. Go back, find a stream.
Sit by it a while, however long it takes. When you start breathing, come back up here.
Then we talk."