M&M
by Michelle Furr
Page 2 of 2
New technology + old greed = re-run of history. The same old history which has gotten us in trouble so often before. But maybe factors are in play now which were not in play before. Prozac, currently being taken by 20 million Americans (and you can be sure they are not the 20 million working at McDonald's), has been offered as a possible new force behind the upward flight of NASDAQ: "Doctor, I'm so nervous, and often quite depressed." "Try these pills, my son. They will remove your down feelings. Life--and whatever market you're heavily invested in--will no longer seem risky at all. Go on. Take them. Just say yes!" So you take your little day pills (saving Viagra for the evening), and sure enough, NASDAQ now seems like Lotus Land come to Wall Street. But what about the real-life down, the crash that is coming? I have two possible cushions for you to consider that may make the landing easier, less catastrophic than that in 1929. I should warn you: We're reaching here, going far, far into left field. Why? Because old economic theory reveals only old economic forces. Hold onto your gimme cap. Here we go. I give you:
1. Masturbation. For all the feminist gains, the markets of the world are still as patriarchal as, well, as the Sheriff's Posse in Deaf Smith County, Texas. Men, no matter if their control is finally illusory, still hold the keys and still finger the keyboards of the financial world. Given: Global porn is one of the Internet's dirty not-so-little not-so-secret secrets. The pictures by the million are everywhere, zipless GIF's hurtling from modem to ground station to satellite to ground station to modem. And what is the effect of these pictures? (Now we get into the more secret truth about Internet porn.) You think people (read: males, of all ages) download this stuff by the terabyte just to pass time? Let me set you straight about several things. 1. Storks do not bring babies. Ergo: The level of panic-based, compulsive male behavior may (may!) be significantly less these days because of a high level of Internet-aided masturbation in cubicles, offices, home-offices, and cars around the world. Which may (may!) mean that all these thousands of gallons of cyber-jism could have the effect of lessening the fear and panic when the Big Crash comes. But wait. There's more. 2. Meditation. Call it the Esalen Effect. Furthermore, an unknown number of Americans, as a result of the 1960s, meditate today. Let me say that again: An unknown number of Americans, as a result of the 1960s, meditate today. Who knows how many? One million seems low. 100 million seems high. Let's just say, somewhere between 1,000,001 and 99,999,999. That's important, maybe very important, because: The only people who scoff at or deny the extremely powerful, profound, beneficial effects of meditation are those who don't do it. The old books from the East are filled with hard, experience-derived information about what happens when you meditate. No New Age gobbledy-gook. Just plain, empricial data: If you do this and this and this for a while, then this, this, and this will happen. Whatever the "this" is that happens, greed is not one of its characteristics. We don't know how many western men meditate. We don't know how skilled those who meditate are. But we do know that quite a few (50,000,000 +/- 49,000,000, right?) are doing it, and we know from the old books that the effects are far-reaching. Far-reaching enough to influence something which is, in the larger scheme, as trivial and finally unimportant as NASDAQ? I don't know. All I can do is leave you with a firm and resounding, "Maybe!" |