Wusser Britches Makes a Friend
Douglas Milburn
While Wusser Britches was not exactly what you’d call an
out-going cat, she did appreciate her humans. They thought she just tolerated them, but
fairly often she enjoyed being in the same room with them and on occasion liked to be
stroked. Petting was, however, out of the question, as was lap-sitting.
She had also formed a good relationship with a small garden frog who at night would
frequently appear on the other side of the glass patio doors. Wusser Britches would
quickly make eye-contact and then sit as close to the door as she could get, sometimes for
hours, staring at her amphibious acquaintance.
Quite contented with this small group of creatures around her (three humans and one frog),
Wusser Britches got the shock of her life late one night when she was sitting by the patio
doors waiting for Mr. Frog to appear. She may have dozed off, and when she opened her
eyes, there on the patio just a few feet away was… well, there’s no easy way to
put this, another cat.
Taken from her mother at a very early age, Wusser Britches had only the dimmest memories
of her kittenhood. Now and then in her dreams a tiny, mewling sibling would appear, but
that was about it.
Thus, when she opened her eyes and saw another creature just like herself on the patio,
she jumped a good two feet straight up in the air. Who are you?! What are you doing on my
patio?!
When she landed, Wusser Britches stood petrified, her back arched, her tail puffed.
Impossible! This couldn’t be happening. SHE, Wusser Britches her own self, was the
only cat in the world!
What was worse, while Wusser Britches remained stiffly in her most aggressive warning
posture, the other cat began strolling with utter nonchalance around HER patio, stopping
to sniff here and there, and even—such effrontery!—nibbling at a bit of HER
grass.
Wusser Britches was beside herself. She didn’t know what to do, what to think, so she
first gave a good long hiss, and then an even longer and much louder screech.
The patio cat glanced her way but otherwise paid her no attention.
Wusser Britches wanted to hurl herself through the glass door, but she had long ago
learned that, mysteriously, though she could see everything outside very clearly, she was
unable to get through this strange barrier.
Before Wusser Britches could decide what to do next, the patio cat marched, tail erect,
off the patio and vanished into the night.
Harumph! Wusser Britches thought. Amazed, frightened, insulted, she was all that and more,
because deep down inside, almost hidden, she knew there was a tiny spark of delight to
discover that she was in fact not the only cat in the world.
For many heartbeats Wusser Britches stood looking out at the now-empty patio. She finally
lay down, but continued to look.
Only when her stomach said, "Food!" did she move.
After that, her humans were very puzzled when it became apparent that her new favorite
spot in the house was the floor beside the patio door. They couldn’t figure out why
she suddenly liked that place, which never got any sun, so much.
They didn’t know that Wusser Britches was determined to maintain her post until her
new friend appeared again, however long it took.
Wusser
Britches Goes Shopping>>
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