Semaphore Signals:
Messages from Readers
Jan. 1, 2000 - Dec. 31, 2000
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magellan@texaschapbookpress.com
Dear Magellan,
I have read your
review of interstate highways and was amused to hear that I-90 ended in Wisconsin. It
is true that I-90 meets up with I-94 by Tomah, Wisconsin, but I-90 doesn't end there it
combines to form I-90-94 until it reaches Madison about 100 miles to the east. I-90
continues south to Rockford then east to Chicago. I-94 goes east from Madison to Milwaukee
then south to Chicago. Also I-90 meets up with your winning interstate I-80 in Indiana and
is also a joint interstate(I-80-90) for another 200+ miles going into the states of
Indiana and Ohio. I-90 breaks off towards the north a little and goes through such cities
as Cleveland OH, Erie PA, and Buffalo NY. When I-90 leaves Buffalo it becomes the north
branch of the New York Turnpike. I-90 continues on through to Albany NY where the NY
Turnpike turns south but I-90 continues in toward Springfield MA known as the Mass
Turnpike into Boston where it ends at the Boston Harbor. So I- 90 does go from west coast
(Seattle WA) to east coast(Boston MA) But if you say that doesn't meet your criteria then
how do you explain the 200+ miles that I-90 shares with I-80?
--Amused Mike Jacobs.
Ed.: We are Interstate purists, Mr. Jacobs. Any Interstate that
has to jog way south, take on the right-of-way of another, straight-ahead highway, and
proceed toward the east coast as if nothing were amiss is, in our purist opinion, not a
proper Interstate at all. We are also "open-range" Interstatists, and that
stretch of I-90 from Buffalo to Albany, with its unconscionably high tolls reminded us of
nothing so much as the wanton exploitation of serfs by the unlamented feudal barons of the
Middle Ages.
Dear Magellan,
Eventually, McLuhan will be remembered, not for any particular theory, but for
visionary method - recognizing media's semiotic authority; media effects decoded from its
limitations not improvements; Euclidean confirmation and extrapolation; and, most profound
for me, seeing the bigger picture beyond human self deception.
I rarely see the suggestion that the navigation of this interactive net via digital
mainframe is a copy of the human brain. How many Neurologists are program designers? Yet,
shouldn't they be aligned?
So, here's an interesting fact about McLuhan: just before the onset of his fatal brain
tumor, he was investigating the bicameral brain (left/logical, right/intuitive), and some
missing work at the Center on the role of the cortex.
Might keyboard protocol engage left brain while on line preferences are right brain, and
tending to psychotic?
Or have I passed beyond geek?
Regards,
--Michael Oster
Dear Magellan,
You very bad thing. No respect for the dead
people. I never click you again, you hear me?
--Abdul, Jordan
Dear Magellan,
I know you're going to catch a lot of flack with your fiction issue, but I thought it was great. Especially liked "Sleepy Lobster." I cried.
--JoeMcK, Marseilles
Dear Magellan,
Look, guys, you put up this big "hip" front, trying to be s-o-o-o cool, and then
you devote a WHOLE ISSUE to FICTION??? [See Magellan's
Log 20] Jeez. Fiction is so, so high school, you know what I mean? I mean, you do some
pretty good stuff (I really LIKED P.I.S.P.A.,
liked to fell outta my chair at that one), but now I feel like I can't trust you guys any
more, ever again.
--Smart Bart, San Jose
Dear Magellan,
I really like that song ["Slip Inside This House,"]. Nice to see your page about that. I
just thought I should mention that as far as I know the first line of that song should
actually read "Bedoin in tribes ascending" not "When your tribe's...".
Just thought you might like to know. [For the last line of the song] one guy somewhere
came up with - "Three eyed men are not complaining, They can YODEL where they
will"!
--Andrew Linsell, U.K.
Ed. Note: Pretty sharp eye, Andrew. You're right. The printed
lyric in the original LP had "Bedoin in tribes ascending," but Rocky sings the
line as "When your tribe's ascending..."
Dear Magellan,
I like a lot of your publication. But why do keep picking on the Christians? It seems you
have some sophomoric wisecrack about Christianity in every issue. I was deeply offended by
your scurrilous piece, The Edges of Divinity.
How dare you speak of God as if He has a sex organ? In my church, the only organ God has
is the one that my husband plays hymns on. If I had a subscription to your magazine I
would cancel it. I hope when you meet your maker, you remember this letter.
--W.W.J.D., Houston, USA
Dear Magellan,
You've done some funny pieces, but "Misadventures in English"
was among the best.
--R.J.W., Bath, UK
Dear Magellan,
Thanks for the tip about Eliot
Pattison's Tibet novel. I rarely buy hardbacks, but I'm glad you convinced me to buy The
Skull Mantra. A book full of hope from a country filled with despair.
--G.B., Berlin
Dear Magellan,
You wouldn't know creativity from a cow patty in whatever Texas pasture you have
your so-called editorial offices. Your attack on Microsoft (comparing it to 20th century oil companies) was
one of the lamest of the many lame pieces you've published. Bill Gates gives the world
more innovation and creativity in one minute than your so-called staff does in a whole
issue. Where would Magellan's Log be if it weren't for Microsoft? Just another
dying spark between synapses in your editor's under-utilized brain. And how may billions
has your company donated to worthwhile causes?
--One Miffed Seattlite
Dear Magellan,
I don't get it. Your tasteless jokes are one thing. At least you have to click and read
them to be offended. But why the disgusting cartoons? I mean, one mis-click, and there you
are, instantly offended by some sophomoric lamebrain's idea of funny.
Miriam3, Youngstown, USA
Ed. Note: Actually, we think of our choice of cartoons as more freshmanic than sophomoric.
We'll try to do better in the future.
Dear Magellan,
Enough with the humor. Whimsy is OK (The Book of the Gnu was very sweet and wry). But now in one
issue (Magellan's Log 13) you unload not one put two pieces of really choice
humor writing on us-- Misadventures
in English and One
Lap Around Houston or Bust! Please stop. How can I devote sufficient
worry-time to the important problems of the world if you keep making me laugh?
Joseph R. T., Miami, USA
Dear Magellan,
There are just two problems. 1. You make me think too much, and 2. you make me
laugh too much. But then I stumble across one of your "beauty"
features, as you call them, with nice graphics and music, and I calm down again.
I know it ain't easy, but keep up the good work.
Marisa P., Delft, EU
Dear Magellan,
Please dig into your budget and send Sawyer Brown to lots more places. If he can do to
Seattle, say, or maybe Miami, what he did to Las
Vegas, I'd love to read it.
HomeAlone, Bloomington, USA
Dear Magellan,
Your off-color cartoons and jokes are something you should be ashamed of. But what took
the cake was when you started putting pictures of naked people up and giving it a big headline like it was
something you're proud of. It's sites like yours that make me vote the straight Republican
ticket. I pray every night we will get enough good Christians in Washington to clean out
smut like those statues you so proudly show with their big privates on public display for
anyone to look at.
RLT, Cleveland, USA
END OF 2000 LETTERS
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